i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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