I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
