Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
