i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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