just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
