i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What a dumb baby whore.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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