hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
