He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
