3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
