Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
