Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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