So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
