Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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