guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was not drunk enough for that final.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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