that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
