I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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