youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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