If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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