Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We need to get me chipped asap
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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