i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
