I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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