Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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