Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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