If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Barsexuality is the new black.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
