please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He passed out mid-signature
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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