He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
