Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
