I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
