guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
