it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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