you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
