we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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