Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
