I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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