STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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