She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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