hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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