her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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