thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
