Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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