You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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