So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
