its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
