Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
