Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
