worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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