i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites