is your mom at the bar?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.