Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.