I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused