so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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