ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
