I hate all girls vehemently.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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