my phone needs a breathalizer
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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