Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
