She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
