...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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