Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
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i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
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i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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