Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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