Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
