Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
