My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
