I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
