that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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