I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
operation harelip BJ is a go
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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