you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
